Someone’s Grandma

Here’s what I would say if I wrote an advice column:

Dear parents, I know you are doing the best you can but if there is one thing you can teach your children that would save us all a lot of grief, it’s respect.

While staying at a resort, I couldn’t help but noticed in the beautifully kept gardens on the common grounds, the Snowball Viburnum bushes full of round, snowy white blossoms. I had been admiring them as I strolled around the meandering paths.

Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflict.

I came upon two boys, maybe age six or seven, playing in the common areas. I saw they had handfuls of blossoms they had plucked from the bushes. They were tossing the petals into the air and scattering them all around on the grass. I glanced at the Snowball bushes and saw they were bare of leaves and flowers up to about the height the boys could reach.

“Hi, boys.” I greeted them with a smile. “Where are your parents?”

“Oh, they are inside.” replied one of the kids. “They let us play out here on our own.” Wby the way he jutted his chin, I could see he was the bolder of the two.

“Can I tell you guys something?” I asked. “I can see you are having fun with the flowers. I like to enjoy them, too. Just in a different way. With my eyes and my nose.”

The boys seemed curious so I continued. “I like to see the blossoms as I walk by and smell their sweet scent. They are for us all to enjoy. The flowers you took from the bushes are no longer there for anyone else. We should enjoy the flowers in a way that we all can share.”

One of the boys, the shier of the two, looked at the bare branches of the bush with understanding. The other boy grabbed his scooter in a huff and kick-pushed away grumbling, “I hate this. Why is everyone always telling me what to do?”

It is not like me to stick my nose in other people’s business, but as a fellow guest at the resort, I feel like I wasn't out of place. I came across as an authoritative figure to the two young boys and one of them didn’t take kindly to it.

Without knowing anymore than what I saw in that slice-of-pie moment, I could tell with certainty the angry boy was having a tough time. There are many reasons why a child would react the way this boy did. Behavioral, developmental. I am sympathetic to these possibilities.

I also know that children need to be taught to be respectful and need to be shown respect. By the very fact he was tearing apart the landscaping showed a lack of respect. I offered them a different perspective. The one child was open to it. A child at that age might not know better yet, but a teachable moment is his learning moment. Teach your children now when the consequences are light. One day the authority might not be someone’s grandma who wants to stop and smell the flowers. It might be an officer of the law telling him what to do and the story may end with handcuffs and a mug shot.